How often do you walk past a crumbling building and never even notice? Actually, that's a pretty lousy question since you never notice. A better question would be how often do you walk past a crumbling building and never even notice, even though it's been repaired with freaking LEGOs?! The answer to that, for me at least, is probably pretty often, as it took me two weeks to realize German ...

If you're having a bad day, why don't you make yourself feel a little better by doing your part to ruin somebody's life before they're even born by joining the Facebook group "MY SISTER SAID IF I GET ONE MILLION FANS SHE WILL NAME HER BABY MEGATRON." As of now, the group has a little more than 100,000 members, so they're only 10 percent of the way toward making somebody's childhood totally ...

Just because creating a penis mold sounds like something that happens in the back room of a lap dance parlor doesn't mean it isn't also the first step in making a Valentine's Day gift that will blow your girlfriend's mind. If you're big in the pants, that is. A new sex shop has opened in Williamsburg, and it's predictably artsy-fartsy, with locally made goods, employees wearing crocheted ...

They might be bumbling sodomites who can't even keep their own cars from being stolen, but at least the NYPD is consistent. They've arrested the same man three times in five years in a triple case of mistaken identity. Michael Terry suffers the misfortune of sharing a name with a fugitive from Lebanon County, Penn. Three times now he's been arrested for having that name, despite the fact that ...

Yes, it's colder than a warlock's scrote outside, but maybe, if you're in the Bronx, it's still a good idea to turn off your car and take your keys with you if you decide to grab a quick cup of coffee. Not even the reflective decals, emergency lights and potential siren were enough to keep one cop's car safe from theft when it was left running outside of Lydig Coffee House on Cruger Ave. in ...

Every rotten-cheese-scented cloud has a silver lining. In this case it's that at least the latest infestation sweeping across Brooklyn isn't bedbugs. It's stinkbugs. Unlike bedbugs, which will turn a person into a pariah and fill him with desperate longing for human contact while his friends try to make it seem like they aren't terrified of him (they're just really busy), the only gross thing ...

Watch out, old rich men! There's a gold digger loose in NYC, after she slipped out of court today by walking through the doors. Cher Thompson met her first victim -- a mentally and physically disabled 64-year-old man, at a bank. After dating for a while the two were married and Thompson starting pilfering his life-insurance annuities, making off with over $100,000. At the same time, she was ...

After murdering a cancer-surviving senior citizen and stealing millions of dollars worth of jewelry, an overpriced Christmas ornament is probably the least of your worries. During lunch hour yesterday, a man waltzed into R.S. Durant Jewelers on the Upper East Side, thanks to a broken buzzer, and walked out with 700 pieces of jewelry worth nearly a million dollars, but not before firing a bullet ...

Raise your hand if you've ever nearly crapped your pants while a cab driver screams into his Bluetooth? If you've got a hand (or two) in the air, you'll be pleased to learn that both the NYPD and Taxi and Limousine Commission agents are going to start strictly enforcing rules banning cabbies from using electronic devices while driving. The ban includes cell phones, hands-free sets, iPods, GPS, ...

If you've spent so much money on rent that you're seriously considering a cheap all-pancake diet, good news -- it is totally within the realm of possibility to make your own maple syrup, even as a city dweller. A recent report in The New York Times provides exact instructions for the proper way to tap a maple tree, as well as a list of all the tools you'll need (drill, bucket, various odds and ...